Episode 174 - Mulch Me

Ep. 174 - Mulch Me

Published on August 19th, 2019.

Recorded by Shannon and Scott.

Transcribed by Shreya Shanker.

[tuner sound]

SHANNON and SCOTT: 1, 2, 3, 4.

[theme song plays]

SCOTT: Welcome to Song Salad with Shannon and Scott!

SHANNON: I’m Shannon!

SCOTT: And I’m Scott.

SHANNON: I’m a professional writer and your resident lyricist.

SCOTT: And I’m a professional musician and your resident composer.

SHANNON and SCOTT: And together-

SHANNON: We toss up a new song each week.

SCOTT: Using a random music genre-

SHANNON: And a random topic.

SCOTT: That's right. Using our proprietary, patented…. (enunciated) pico de gallo (SHANNON: [laughs]), industrial-strength salad spinner, we randomize over 500 music genres!

SHANNON: And hit the "Random Article" button on Wikipedia to get our topic.

SCOTT: Yup! Tell our listeners what we did last week, Shannon.

SHANNON: Last week was a Salad Bar!

SCOTT: Compilation episode!

SHANNON: It was.

SCOTT: Of a weird variety of songs.

SHANNON: Indeed. But before that was "Good Moist Solid Food"!

SCOTT: A Dixieland song!

SHANNON: About a guy with some weird ideas about nutrition.

SCOTT: He was from the 1800s, he didn't know any better.

SHANNON: Yeah, true. But, yes, that was a very fun song, we had a couple people say that it was their new favorite.

SCOTT: Yeah, Dixieland's always a good genre.

SHANNON: It is, it really is!

SCOTT: And then, thank you for, uh, being patient with us as we released our compilation episode. It's been a while since we've done one of those, so, I feel good about that. [laughs]

SHANNON: Yeah! Yeah. Not too bad.

SCOTT: And I had a fabulous time in Scotland! Which is why we released that.

SHANNON: Your land.

SCOTT: My land. The land of me's.

SHANNON: [laughs] Do they all look like you?

SCOTT: Everyone looked like me.

SHANNON: Just a bunch of Scott clones running around?

SCOTT: [laughs] Lots of weird music being played. Uh, I met one of our listeners, (crosstalk) Claire Dixon.

SHANNON: (crosstalk) So cool.

SCOTT: Who's been with us since the beginning.

SHANNON: Oh my gosh, Claire!

SCOTT: And she gave us a lovely- is it needlepoint or cross stitch?

SHANNON: Cross stitch.

SCOTT: Cross stitch! That says "eat your veggies" and has little vegetables on it, so that was such a nice gift!

SHANNON: So that will soon be hanging somewhere in Scott's office.

SCOTT: Yeah!

SHANNON: So we can stare at it while we record!

SCOTT: And remember what we're supposed to say at the end. [laughs]

SHANNON: Yes, which, thank you for that reminder, Claire.

SCOTT: We always love meeting up with listeners, so let us know if you're going to be in NYC, or if we mention that we're going somewhere and that's where you are, let us know!

SHANNON: Yeah!

SCOTT: Should we see what's in store for us this week, as we fire up the Salad Spinner to generate our genre and topic?

SHANNON: Wow. You took the words right out of my mouth.

SCOTT: [laughs] Here we go! This week, we're writing a song in the style of...

[whirring machinery sound effect begins, then comes sound of something splatting out of the machine]

SHANNON and SCOTT: Electro house! About...

[sound effect ends with a ding!]

SHANNON and SCOTT: Bark- Barkdust!

SCOTT: So an electro house song about barkdust.

SHANNON: Barkdust!

SCOTT: So what do we know about electro house?

SHANNON: Ummmmm, we've done so many electronic music genres.

SCOTT: We have.

SHANNON: Have we done just straight house?

SCOTT: I don't think so? We've done, like, types of house, like "blank" house, right?

SHANNON: We did microhouse (SCOTT: Uh huh.), deep house (SCOTT: Yep.), and... and jacking house. [laughs]

SCOTT: Jacking house... Yes.

SHANNON: Um, by the way, thank you, Vince Colosimo, songsalad.fandom.com saves our butts (SCOTT: Yes.) every time we play this game (crosstalk) of "did we do-?"

SCOTT: (crosstalk) Very good resource.

SHANNON: "-this genre?" Yes.

SCOTT: We've also done just electro, which was our first episode?

SHANNON: No.

SCOTT: Second? Could've sworn.

SHANNON: Oh! Episode 0 is not listed on here.

SCOTT: Oh, our pilot episode was electro.

SHANNON: (over SCOTT) Our pilot episode was electro, yes.

SCOTT: So, this is electro house. What we've noticed from doing electronic music genres is that there are usually slight variations in them with their names, and it's usually just based on, like, tempo and types of synthesizer sounds that are used, so.

SHANNON: Yeah, pretty much.

SCOTT: So we'll see what that means for electro house.

SHANNON: Yeah!

SCOTT: Shannon?

SHANNON: Yeah?

SCOTT: What do you know about barkdust?

SHANNON: Not a damn thing. [laughs] I-

SCOTT: [laughs] So, it's one word. Barkdust.

SHANNON: Yeah, that was surprising to me!

SCOTT: Yeah. And there's a picture on the Wikipedia article that just looks like little bits of bark.

SHANNON: Okay. Isn't that just mulch?

SCOTT: Probably.

SHANNON: Is it mulch? Is that what this topic is?

SCOTT: It might be mulch.

SHANNON: Um, can you just- can you just give me the first sentence of this article, please?

SCOTT: Yeah!

SHANNON: Okay.

SCOTT: "In agriculture, gardening, and landscaping, barkdust is a form of mulch-" (SHANNON: Oh.) "-produced out of chipped or shredded tree bark." It's also known as bark chips, bark mulch, or beauty bark. (crosstalk) So it's-

SHANNON: (crosstalk) I see the-

SCOTT: It's the fancy, classy mulch.

SHANNON: Beauty bark.

SCOTT: Mm-hmm.

SHANNON: Wow, okay.

SCOTT: So, excited to dive into that one.

SHANNON: Yeah, wow, we've got some ground cover this week, guys. [laughs] Big day!

SCOTT: [laughs] Could probably make a mound out of it.

SHANNON: Yep, I think you probably could!

SCOTT: Well, let's, uh, find out a little bit more about electro house.

SHANNON: Let's go.

[Timestamp: 5:02]

[transition theme plays]

SCOTT: You know what they say.

SHANNON: What?

SCOTT: Those in electro houses shouldn't throw... beats.

SHANNON: Yeah? Is that what they say? What could that mean?

SCOTT: Electro house is a form of- [laughs] house music...

SHANNON: [laughs]

SCOTT: -characterized by a heavy bass, and a tempo around 130 beats per minute. So that's what we're talking about with, usually, these genres have a specific range of tempo.

SHANNON: Right. Right, right, right. Origins are influenced by tech house and electro, as we mentioned, and the term has been used to describe music of many DJ Mag Top 100 DJs, including the well-known Benny Benassi, Daft Punk, Skrillex, and Steve Aoki.

SCOTT: So this genre was most popular, um, and originated in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The predecessor genres were more in the 80s, when house music was first getting its start, and the difference with this genre is that the, uh, bass lines are a lot heavier, the sound of the bass lines have a lot more, like, buzzing and distortion and what's called a sawtooth wave, which is sort of like a jagged audio wave that has that kind of buzzing sound to it. And you often get four-on-the-floor beats with big bass drum sounds.

SHANNON: Yeah, it says- it also makes a distinction between tech house as having, um, electro house has more melodic elements to it? And I think you'll definitely see that (SCOTT: Yeah!) in the examples we've pulled.

SCOTT: And actual lyrics and some singing.

SHANNON: Yeah, a lot of, um, if there is- there are certainly instrumental examples in the genre, right?

SCOTT: Yup.

SHANNON: But, if there are lyrics, they're- tend to be short, repeated verses, I guess?

SCOTT: Yeah. There's a song called "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit," by Fedde Le Grand, and the only lyric is "put your hands up for Detroit," and they say it over and over again.

SHANNON: Yeah. Uh, same with- there's a song called "Raw Shit" by Basement Jaxx, uh, and that was one of the earlier examples, 1997, and that- the lyric is "raw shit," over and over. Also, um, the lyrics tend to be in a kind of spoken robot-y sort of voice?

SCOTT: Yeah.

SHANNON: Definitely distorted, or like, interesting effects put on the vocal.

SCOTT: Totally. So, one good example of that is.... Benny Benassi. And his track "Satisfaction" from 2002.

SHANNON: This song is seen as, um, one of the songs that catapulted electro house into the mainstream.

SCOTT: Let's listen.

[Timestamp: 07:51]

[About 50 seconds of "Satisfaction" by Benny Benassi.]

SHANNON: I definitely recognize that song. From somewhere.

SCOTT: Yeah, like you said, it's probably from some commercial or movie, and we just, like, had it fused into our subconscious-

SHANNON: Yeah, I think so.

SCOTT: [laughs] -from that.

SHANNON: Both that song and, uh, the- "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit," we watched some of the music videos.

SCOTT: Right.

SHANNON: Both very interested in women's butts.

SCOTT: Yup.

SHANNON: Like, just a lot of butt shots of women in underwear.

SCOTT: They should call it butt house.

SHANNON: They should call it butt house! (SCOTT: [laughs]) Scott Wasserman says "they should call it butt house."

SCOTT: I'm just reacting to what I see.

SHANNON: Yeah. Um, so if you like a lot of, like, upskirt shots from behind of women, go look at those music videos.

SCOTT: Sure. Uhh, yeah. As you also heard, there's no real variation in form or sections to these songs? (SHANNON: Right.) They kinda just, like, hit hard out of the gate and just go, and it's a lot of, just kind of like, minimalist style repetition and no real breaking up of sections like we've had in other house music genres, where there've been, like, a moment where it's just pad synthesizers and the beat drops out and then it builds up to another climax, like this is kind of just going.

SHANNON: Like, you're there to take drugs and dance.

SCOTT: Yeah.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: You don't need variation.

SHANNON: Uh-uh.

SCOTT: Wanna listen to something else?

SHANNON: Yeah!

SCOTT: Here's one with more true singing to it, uh, this was a very popular song called "Yeah Yeah" by Bodyrox and featuring vocals by Luciana. Held the #2 spot in the UK Top 40 Singles charts.

SHANNON: And this is the D. Ramirez remix of it, specifically, is the electro house version.

SCOTT: Cool.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: Here it is.

[About 40 seconds of the D. Ramirez remix of "Yeah Yeah" by Bodyrox ft. Luciana.]

SHANNON: What else?

SCOTT: Well, there's lots of subgenres (SHANNON: Yeah.) of this, including Melbourne bounce, big room, complextro, Dutch house, fidget house, and moombahton?

SHANNON: Moombahton? Tell me about moombahton!

SCOTT: Mixture of slowed-down Dutch house and reggaeton.

SHANNON: Whoa.

SCOTT: Cool. So, I don't think we should dive deep into those, but we'll save them for the future.

SHANNON: Yeah, exactly. Okay!

SCOTT: But yeah! We just basically need to put together, uh, some pretty heavy synthesizer bass sounds with distortion, a four-on-the-floor beat, you hear a lot of, like, kind of busy higher percussion elements like hi-hats and tics and metallic sounds, uh, and then figure out how to do a vocal that sounds almost like a sample, or a robot- roboti- (singsong) robotized- Robitussin voice.

SHANNON: [laughs] Wow, really?

SCOTT: I'm done.

SHANNON: You went at that really hard.

SCOTT: Yup.

SHANNON: Okay.

SCOTT: Wanna learn about bark?

SHANNON: Barkdust?

SCOTT: [laughs] Here we go.

SHANNON: Yup.

[Timestamp: 12:28]

[transition theme plays]

SCOTT: Love this topic.

SHANNON: Me too! It's great.

SCOTT: Great, straightforward topic. (SHANNON: Love it.) Useful, practical.

SHANNON: Yeah. Into it.

SCOTT: [laughs] Tell me about barkdust.

SHANNON: Alright, so as we have established, it's mulch.

SCOTT: It's mulch!

SHANNON: And it's produced out of chipped or shredded tree bark.

SCOTT: Mm-hmm.

SHANNON: And there are also, uh, it's categorized not just by the type of tree that it comes from, but also how coarse or fine it is.

SCOTT: Cool.

SHANNON: And some of the coarser, chonkier versions may be known as "bark nuggets."

SCOTT: What a nugget.

SHANNON: Oh, so good. Bark nuggets.

SCOTT: [laughs]

SHANNON: The two most common types of trees are the Douglas fir and the Western hemlock, which are both, um, evergreen-y type trees.

SCOTT: Right. It says cedar can also sometimes be used, but it's most commonly fir or hemlock.

SHANNON: Yes. And the reason, um, that you would use these as opposed to mulch is because barkdust has less wood content and actually, according to the voluntary guidelines published by the Mulch and Soil Council (SCOTT: Baffling.), the "bark" refers to "the corky exterior covering of trees, with a maximum wood content of 15%."

SCOTT: And if you have more than 15% wood content, it has to be labeled "wood mulch," but not bark.

SHANNON: Right. So barkdust is chosen because it is less likely to give you splinters when trod upon by bare skin.

SCOTT: Specifically hemlock and cedar, but fir can sometimes still give you splinters, so a lot of time, the hemlock and cedar barkdust is used to cover play areas for children and playgrounds.

SHANNON: Yeah! It can also be used in landscaping, either for its aesthetic appeal, um, but also to aid with water retention, (crosstalk) prevent soil erosion...

SCOTT: (crosstalk) Yeah, it increases the soil acidity? I guess?

SHANNON: Yeah, I don't think that's good, though.

SCOTT: Yeah. I dunno.

SHANNON: Yeah, I dunno.

SCOTT: [laughs] It's very good at suppressing weeds, and it contains natural herbicides, (crosstalk) which is kinda cool.

SHANNON: (crosstalk) Well, citation need, citation needed, Scott.

SCOTT: Sorry, I take it back.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: In addition, many consider barkdust to be visually appealing, also citation needed there! [laughs]

SHANNON: [laughs] So, Scott.

SCOTT: Yes.

SHANNON: I- I got a hankering to buy some bark dust.

SCOTT: Do ya?

SHANNON: How can I do this?

SCOTT: Well, you gotta buy it by the unit!

SHANNON: A unit of barkdust!

SCOTT: One unit.

SHANNON: How much does that cost?

SCOTT: Well, depends on which kind of barkdust you're getting.

SHANNON: Oh, mm-hmm.

SCOTT: But one unit of fresh medium-grind hemlock barkdust delivered straight to your doorstep-

SHANNON: From Grimm's Fuel Company.

SCOTT: 230 dollars.

SHANNON: [laughs] I have to confess to all of you that when Scott pulled up this PDF from Grimm's Fuel Company, he went, "oh, it's not bad!"

SHANNON and SCOTT: [laugh]

SHANNON: As if he were actually considering buying a unit of barkdust.

SCOTT: Well, let's talk about how big a unit is.

SHANNON: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SCOTT: A unit is 200 cubic feet.

SHANNON: That's a lot.

SCOTT: Which can cover 1100 square feet at a depth of 2 inches, so that's a lot.

SHANNON: You could cover almost three of my apartments in two inches of barkdust-

SCOTT: For 230 bucks!

SHANNON: For two hundred- what a deal!

SCOTT: What a good prank.

SHANNON: Yeah- [laughs] good prank.

SCOTT: I can cover one of your apartments in six inches of (crosstalk) barkdust. [laughs]

SHANNON: (crosstalk, laughing) Yes, exactly. Oh my god.

SCOTT: And you won't get splinters!

SHANNON: True!

SCOTT: Unless I get some fir, which is cheaper.

SHANNON: Oh, how much cheaper?

SCOTT: Uh, 195 dollars.

SHANNON: Okay, okay.

SCOTT: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's also cheaper if you pick it up yourself. (SHANNON: [laughs]) But then you need a truck.

SHANNON: If you want Grimm's Fuel Company to deliver it to you, you gotta pay for the- the courtesy.

SCOTT: The most expensive way to buy barkdust (SHANNON: Yes.), according to Grimm's fuel company, is 5 units of fresh medium hemlock, delivered to your doorstep, for 1085 dollars.

SHANNON: Wow. I mean. Still. You could- you could bury a family for less than, like, a first class ticket to Europe.

SCOTT: It's true.

SHANNON: [laughs]

SCOTT: Bury a family is the first thing you thought of?

SHANNON: I don't know!

SCOTT: Oh my god.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: Well, uh... anything else to talk about here?

SHANNON: No! It's straightforward, and that's why I love it.

SCOTT: It's barkdust.

SHANNON: Yeah, it's barkdust, guys.

SCOTT: How shall we turn barkdust into the topic for an electro song?

SHANNON: I think it's perfect.

SCOTT: You just got it. You're ready.

SHANNON: I just think- yeah, I think it's great because this genre does not require an in-depth exploration, no narrative, we don't need to, like, really dig into something, it can just be something catchy and fun to sing that's repeatable about barkdust.

SCOTT: The lyric could just be barkdust.

SHANNON: It could, but I'm gonna be- I'm gonna give you a little more than that to work with.

SCOTT: Okay, good.

SHANNON: I promise.

SCOTT: Great!

SHANNON: Yes.

SCOTT: Alright, I'm gonna go put together my synthesizers.

SHANNON: All synths, all day.

SCOTT: Today. [laughs]

SHANNON: Today, yeah.

SCOTT: (crosstalk) Here we go.

SHANNON: (crosstalk) Let's go.

[Timestamp: 18:14]

[transition theme plays]

SHANNON: I need to ask you a question.

SCOTT: What's your question?

SHANNON: Is your dad a mulch dad?

SCOTT: My dad is not a mulch dad.

SHANNON: Mm. I have a mulch dad.

SCOTT: I know this about your dad.

SHANNON: Yeah. My beloved father loves mulch.

SCOTT: Where do you think that comes from?

SHANNON: Ummmmm, I- I honestly thought it was just him, until last year for Father's Day, I did a- just a quick Google that was like "mulch shirt," like as a joke, the- specifically to see if there was anything out there that I could buy my father to make fun of him for loving mulch so much. And I found a community of mulch lovers, and there are so many shirts about how much people fucking love mulch (SCOTT: [laughs]), out on the internet, that I realized that maybe I was the weird one, cause I didn't love mulch, y'know?

SCOTT: Now, has your dad always loved mulch? Is it a recent love?

SHANNON: Umm, he's been an enthusiast for a while, I would say, but it's only in the past couple years- my parents have re-landscaped the backyard a couple times, and they have a fairly large area of- what was once a grass backyard is now, like, flowerbeds, with big rocks and stuff - he also loves big rocks. Um, but, uh--

SCOTT: [laughs] Small wood, big rock.

SHANNON: Yes. [laughs] Uh, but he, now, every year, buys- just, like, what seems to be irresponsible amounts of mulch?

SCOTT: Many units.

SHANNON: Yes. He buys, I think this year was 180 bags of mulch?

SCOTT: Wow.

SHANNON: That he bu- not units of mulch, but bags.

SCOTT: [laughs] 180 units would be--

SHANNON: Insane.

SCOTT: The whole property.

SHANNON: Yes, exactly. Um, and then he, like, spreads them and- I guess because, like, the color fades, so you want it to have, like, that nice vibrant dark wood color, but he really really loves mulch, and I bought him- I bought him a baseball tee that had "mulch" in fancy script writing on it.

SCOTT: That's so hipster.

SHANNON: Yeah, I know. Uh, for Father's Day last year. But anyway, I was thinking about mulch and I was thinking about how my dad and some people's parents are mulch parents.

SCOTT: Well, I mean, my mom was more the gardener than my dad. And there were times growing up when we would have a big pile of mulch just sitting in the driveway. (SHANNON: Right.) And you would often see neighbors, too, with a mulch pile, and you're like "I don't think they've touched it."

SHANNON: Yeah. [laughs]

SCOTT: And it's been sitting there for months, and it must just be moldy at this point, like--

SHANNON: Yeah, it's just, like, (crosstalk) composting in the middle, it's hot.

SCOTT: (crosstalk) Rained on, they didn't even put a tarp over it.

SHANNON: Yeah, yeah.

SCOTT: But we were always responsible with our mulch.

SHANNON: Oh.

SCOTT: It was used in a timely fashion, it was covered in the rain.

SHANNON: [laughs] Yeah, this year, my mom sent a picture of the mulch, which was sitting on two pallets, in the driveway, and the caption from my mom just said "help me."

SHANNON and SCOTT: [laugh]

SHANNON: She has not been buried under the mulch, don't worry! It's not that kind of thing. But, anyway. I was thinking about mulch dads.

SCOTT: Kay.

SHANNON: And then I was thinking: what about a mulch daddy? [laughs]

SCOTT: [laughs] Ooooooh.

SHANNON: And- yeah, and maybe that should be, like, the angle in?

SCOTT: It's pretty sexy.

SHANNON: Yeah! Because, just, like- the music videos we saw were very sexy, and I think, like, the lyrics- there- the lyrics aren't necessarily explicitly sexy?

SCOTT: No.

SHANNON: But they can definitely be taken that way, and I think the energy is very, like, sexually aggressive (SCOTT: Yeah.) (crosstalk) on a lot of this music.

SCOTT: (crosstalk) It's hot and sweaty music.

SHANNON: Yeah, exactly. Like, you're dancing in close proximity to people to this music, so-

SCOTT: Dancing next to your mulch daddy.

SHANNON: Yeah, exactly. Would you like to hear my lyrics?

SCOTT: I want nothing more.

SHANNON: Okay, here we go. And I'm imagining, uh, these are not, like, narrative in anyway. They're just really there for, like, the rhythm and the internal, sort of, connection that they have to each other.

SCOTT: Okay.

SHANNON: So you'll see what I mean. So here- here's the lyric. "Dusty / Barking up the wrong tree / Daddy, Daddy, mulch me / Covering my body / Splinter-free / Mulch me / Barkdust daddy."

SHANNON and SCOTT: [laugh]

SCOTT: Oh my god.

SHANNON: Good?

SCOTT: Very good. (crosstalk) Very good.

SHANNON: (crosstalk) Okay, good.

SCOTT: Barking up the wrong tree, daddy.

SHANNON: Yup.

SCOTT: Oh my god. I like splinter-free in there, because it's a nice, like, gentle reminder that it's not gonna get too rough. [laugh]

SHANNON: Yeah, no, no, no. So you could do- but like, you wouldn't wanna- you wouldn't want a mulch daddy who picked wood mulch

SCOTT: No, you wouldn't want-

SHANNON: Because then you'd get splinters!

SCOTT: No, you wouldn't want that.

SHANNON: In bad places.

SCOTT: [laughs]

SHANNON: So you want the soft stuff.

SCOTT: Treat me like a children's playground.

SHANNON and SCOTT: [laugh]

SHANNON: Oooh. We could keep going with these lyrics (crosstalk) if you want.

SCOTT: (crosstalk) We could! I think those will work well, and I think it'd be fun to do a little mix of, uh, electronically-produced vocals (SHANNON: Yes.), bringing back Robo-Shannon.

SHANNON: Great.

SCOTT: From way back.

SHANNON: Wow, yeah.

SCOTT: And, also, actually record a little bit of something sung, and then have that, sort of, like a loop or a sample here and there, or something.

SHANNON: Sure! I'm- I'm down for it.

SCOTT: Alright. I have a bed of-

SHANNON: Mulch. [laughs]

SCOTT: Synthesizer mulch laid down-

SHANNON: A flower bed?

SCOTT: Exactly. (SHANNON: Yeah.) Uh, first of all, I've got a beat. Two beats, actually. One that starts out the song that's more of just a four-on-the-floor kick drum kind of a thing (SHANNON: Kay.), so here's that one.

[Timestamp: 24:34]

[4 seconds of the kick drum beat.]

SCOTT: And then when it gets into full gear, you add on a lot of other percussion layers, and it has sort of a, like, busy, swingy, kind of high energy feel to it, so here's the full beat.

[4 seconds of the full beat.]

SHANNON: Got it.

SCOTT: I've got two different distorted synthesizer basses, one for the first beat and one for the second beat, so here they are back-to-back.

[14 seconds of the two basses.]

SHANNON: Hmm.

SCOTT: And I've got a higher layer of synths on top, just to give a little bit of ambience to it. Here are those two synths.

[15 seconds of the two higher layer synths.]

SHANNON: Cool, you have quite the little synth party going on.

SCOTT: That's all this music is. [laughs]

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: Synth party, with a little bit of vocal thrown in (SHANNON: Yeah.), and you just gotta dance to it.

SHANNON: Love it.

SCOTT: What should we call it?

SHANNON: Either "Mulch Me" or "Barkdust Daddy."

SCOTT: Hmm.

SHANNON: What do you like?

SCOTT: I kind of like "Mulch Me."

SHANNON: "Mulch Me"?

SCOTT: Cause it's, like, a fetish of getting buried under a pile of mulch. [laughs]

SHANNON: [laughs] Yes. Great. Mulch me. I love it. And if this is your kink, and you're just figuring that out, I'm very sorry.

SCOTT: Hey, it's not too expensive.

SHANNON and SCOTT: [laugh]

SHANNON: A very affordable kink. [laughs]

SCOTT: [laughs] Oh man.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: Here is "Mulch Me."

SHANNON: An electro house song.

SCOTT: About barkdust.

SHANNON: By Shannon and Scott.

[Timestamp: 26:36]

[Song plays - all the tracks from before are layered, with vocals over it.

Lyrics:

Dusty

Barking

Up the wrong tree, daddy

Daddy, mulch me

(Mulch me)

Covering my body

(Mulch, mulch me)

Splinter-free

(Mu-mu-mulch me)

Mulch me

(Mu-mu-)

Barkdust daddy

(Daddy, daddy, dad-dad-)

(Mulch me, mulch me)

Covering my body

(Mulch, mulch me)

Splinter-free

(Mu-mu-mulch me)

Mulch me

(Mu-mu-)

Barkdust daddy

(Daddy, daddy, dad-dad-daddy)]

SCOTT: So, are we part of mulch culture now?

SHANNON: Mulch culture? Multure?

SCOTT: Multure.

SHANNON: Yeah. We're, uh, this is gonna be a big hit for the mulchies.

SCOTT: [laughs] All those daddies.

SHANNON: Yup. Was that weird? Did I do a weird?

SCOTT: No, you did... you did a right.

SHANNON: Okay, good.

SCOTT: Because- it fit the genre.

SHANNON: Yes.

SCOTT: It was the only way to turn the topic into something sexy.

SHANNON: [laughs] The only way.

SCOTT: The only way I could think of.

SHANNON: To turn it into something sexy. Yes.

SCOTT: I thought it worked well. (SHANNON: Yeah!) And I liked our little, um, robot voice - thank you, Sharon, who's the name of the robot voice we found.

SHANNON: Yeah, where did you get that robot voice?

SCOTT: It was, like, NaturalReaders.com? (SHANNON: Yeahhhh.) I just like- I googled "text to speech" and that was the first thing that came up, and you can, like, choose from a bunch of different voices, and you can do American or British inflection, and, y'know.

SHANNON: Sharon had the best "D"s.

SCOTT: She did. We almost went with Laura, but Laura wasn't quite as enunciative.

SHANNON: Yeah, she was like, swallowing her "D"s for some- oh. Eh. [laughs]

SCOTT: Oh...

SHANNON: D'oh.

SCOTT: We did a whole casting process (SHANNON: We did.), is what we're saying. [laughs]

SHANNON: We did. Thank you to everyone who came out.

SCOTT: It was cutthroat.

SHANNON: We really appreciate it.

SCOTT: You can take your headshot and resume back, we know how expensive they are.

SHANNON: Yeah.

SCOTT: Good salad!

SHANNON: Good salad. That was fun.

SCOTT: That was really fun.

SHANNON: Yeah. I do love getting just strange nouns.

SCOTT: Strange nouns! [laughs]

SHANNON: Yeah. Speaking of strange nouns!

SCOTT: Yeah?

SHANNON: We have people to thank. [laughs]

SCOTT: Kay. Who d'you wanna thank?

SHANNON: I would like to thank two new Patreon donors.

SCOTT: Wow!

SHANNON: O. M. G.

SCOTT: What a blessing.

SHANNON: Anika C.!

SCOTT: Yaaaaay.

SHANNON: And Terry S.!

SCOTT: Yaaay!

SHANNON: Thank you both for pledging to be our Patreon donors!

SCOTT: You are awesome, Shannon will send you a sticker.

SHANNON: Yes, you will get stickers in the mail. Everyone else should have gotten stickers by now? Probably?

SCOTT: If you haven't, please let us know, we wanna get it to you.

SHANNON: Yeah, if you- if you haven't, let us know, there was one lovely person who was getting a sticker all the way to the UK. So maybe if yours hasn't gotten to you yet, maybe it's not in a- an emergency? But maybe. (SCOTT: [laughs]) I dunno.

SCOTT: You know you have to send that letter on the ship across the sea, and it takes months.

SHANNON: Across the sea! It does have to go across the sea to you.

SCOTT: Yup.

SHANNON: Yeah, you're gonna get it like, a young boy in a- in a cap is going to run up to your door.

SCOTT: (high-pitched) Mister, mister! You've got a letter!

SHANNON: [laughs] (high-pitched) A missive from the New World!

SCOTT: [laughs]

SHANNON: Yeah, but anyway. Everyone else, aside from Annika and Terry, lovely people, thank you, should have their Patreon stickers, and yeah. Like Scott said, if you don't, reach out, we will get you another one.

SCOTT: I believe we also have some new reviews, yes?

SHANNON: We have a new review!

SCOTT: Yaaaay.

SHANNON: And this one is from an Uber Eats driver (SCOTT: Yes!) who says that every time they go out, they put on this podcast and it makes their job more enjoyable.

SCOTT: I love that.

SHANNON: So thank you to "DeliverToDoor"- [laughs]

SCOTT: Nice.

SHANNON: -is the username there.

SCOTT: I also encourage you, if you're just, like, an Uber driver or a Lyft driver or whatever, listen to Song Salad while you're driving people around, and- y'know. Get it in people's heads when you're giving them their rides.

SHANNON: Yeah, exactly.

SCOTT: [laughs] Well, if you enjoyed this episode, and you wanna hear some more, you can find our whole back catalog at songsaladpodcast.com. You can listen to us wherever podcasts are found. You can also interact with us on social media!

SHANNON: On Twitter, @songsaladcast, and on Facebook, "Song Salad Podcast - The Produce Section." It's the group, not the page.

SCOTT: This Wednesday, we'll be releasing a special bonus episode, Second Helpings.

SHANNON: [laughs] Second Helpings, with Shannon and Scott.

SCOTT: We reached 100,000 listens on Soundcloud, and to celebrate, we put out a call for questions. We got a lot of questions on our Facebook group and on Twitter, and we have recorded an episode where we answer them!

SHANNON: We answered them all.

SCOTT: Yeah.

SHANNON: So, it was a lot.

SCOTT: It was great.

SHANNON: But a lot of fun!

SCOTT: So look for that in your feeds on Wednesday, that'll go out to everyone, not just our bonus content subscribers.

SHANNON: Yeah! Thank you all for making us what we are.

SCOTT: 100,000 listens old. [laughs]

SHANNON: Next week will be our Salad Bowl episode!

SCOTT: Yeah!

SHANNON: So if you haven't gotten in your August suggestions and you are a $10 and up Patreon donor, please do so. We will be using your suggestions to pick the topic or genre.

SCOTT: It'll be a topic this time.

SHANNON: Yeah!

SCOTT: I'm excited!

SHANNON: Me too.

SCOTT: Until next week!

SHANNON: I'm Shannon!

SCOTT: And I'm Scott.

SHANNON: And this has been Song Salad.

SHANNON and SCOTT: Eat your veggies!

SCOTT: With a side of mulch.

SHANNON: It's got fiber!

SCOTT: Don't- I mean, don't eat it.

SHANNON: But it does got fiber. It does! Got! Fiber!

[tuner sound as they fade out]

SHANNON and SCOTT: 1, 2, 3, 4.

[outro theme plays]


Shannon Deep